Don't feed me that "Dyson is the best" bull sh*t. I'm sure it's a decent vacuum compared to all the other sorry suckers out there, but THE KIRBY will eat the Dyson, poop it out on a white carpet, suck it all up and then shampoo the entire room when it's done. No, seriously, it also shampoos and removes stains! That's just the beginning! I know you're probably thinking I'm trying to sell you on this, but I'm simply stating the facts and besides, would I make any money if you bought one? Nope.
We went through at least one vacuum per year. We kept spending between $100-150 and it would only get the job done once or twice and then it would dramatically go downhill from there. Our cat Sally sheds like a mo fo and our dog Dottie just adds to it. Why keep wasting money on something we're gonna use every weekend (give or take)? The answer is, DON'T waste your money and just suck it up (pun intended) and finance an amazing vacuum that you'll have the rest of your life! That's right, I said finance. The Kirby is not cheap and prices vary depending on where you get it.
THE KIRBY
"Ethan, what's so great about this stupid vacuum that you've completely pumped up for the past three paragraphs?" Well, you know that Playstation 3 commercial that says "It only does everything". They're also talking about the Kirby Sentria. It literally does EVERYTHING! It can be used as a leaf blower, PAINT SPRAYER and carpet shampooer, to inflate air mattresses & tires, remove light bulbs (not joking), unclog drains, and much much more. It comes with a bunch of attachments, one that we use the most is this brush that spins and makes your couch look brand new every time you use it. You can also use it like a big dust buster and clean your whole mattress. Did I mention it has gears and can be put into neutral and drive mode!? Yep.
I am not a Kirby salesman, as you know, I just love the fricken thing. What I like most about it, and I'm sure the dudes will understand, is that it is a totally simplified machine. You can see how everything works, take it apart and put it back together again. It's heavy and ridiculously powerful! (I'm making my Tim the Tool Man grunt noise right now) I like to know how things work and understand them and from what I've learned over the year of owning this vacuum, it can't be broken. Even if it did break, it has a LIFE TIME WARRANTY and they'll just fix it!
The other day, we got this free couch from our neighbors and it was totally nasty because they used it outside and I can honestly tell you, the only reason we took it is because we have the Kirby and I knew we could revive it. Oh, we revived that couch alright. I even shampooed the fold out mattress that was inside the couch!
Seriously, if you guys don't buy one eventually, you'll just be settling for something that ISN'T doing what it's supposed to. This doesn't just go for vacuums, it goes for everything you buy. You get what you pay for. BUY A KIRBY!
1 comments:
I just want to say that I love the Kirby too. (That's what we call it around here - not "the vacuum,'" but "the Kirby.") When we moved into our new house last September I thought, "Great. We just spent a bunch of money on this amazing vacuum, and we move to a house that only has one carpeted room? Oh, the irony!" But as it turns out, it's not ironic at all; this thing cleans our hardwood floors a million times better than the Swiffer ever did, which makes me so glad we have it! I hate to sweep so we just vacuum the entire house, no problem (luckily it's a small place so it's not like we're vacuuming all day or anything). The bags are super easy to change, and the whole thing is really easy to use/figure out once you know that you have to put it in "drive" (the first time I used one at a friend's house when she was out of town, I didn't know that part so I was vacuuming in "neutral" which took a LOT of effort! It took me forever because I had to push so hard lol). Anyway, I just wanted to reiterate how much we love this vacuum. Seriously, every time we use it we say, "I am so glad we got this!" - every time. We really do love it and it is worth every penny.
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